How to Write a Fantasy Story

Some people have very interesting lives: Dave Eggers, Greg Mortenson and Barack Obama, to name a few. When these gentlemen sit down to pen a novel they rarely have to look beyond their own experiences to find engaging material. Then there are the rest of us: Oxford graduates, Mormon housewives, Disney Channel staff writers, college students and Trey Parker. Those of us with boring, sometimes multi-million dollar lives need to imagine ourselves in strange, foreign worlds of the backs of vampires, lions or unicorns, to spice up our mundane existences. Thus, I have created a step-by-step guide to creating imaginary lands and alter-egos for those anti-tragedies which make up everyday life. By following these simple methods you will be able to create the perfect world-outside-the-world to escape into when you find yourself in the middle of life’s monotonous drudgery.
The first step in any fantasy story is to identify the forces of good. Now, of course, this is always you. But, who are you? Are you a whiny, seventeen year old girl? Are you four cherubic, British children? Are you a princess in a faraway land which closely resembles many European nations? Or, are you an animated eight year old boy? Now, since you are always human, and often young or naïve, you must always have an older, wiser guide to counsel you through your epic struggles. These guides may be majestic, Christ-like lions; African American chefs; vegetarian vampires; or gentle yet powerful queens, depending upon who you are. Now of course, you must be careful not to mix and match here. For example, if you are a princess in a faraway land, your mentor could be the golden lion or the gentle queen. But, they could never be the vegetarian vampire and could only be the African American chef if he is an omniscient member of your noble staff and, ideally, your legal guardian. Before moving on to the next step, you must always make sure you have paired your characters appropriately. After all, this may be fantasy, but it still needs to be realistic.
The next step for any fantasy writer is to create a foil for the good guys. These will, again, depend upon whom you have chosen to be good and who you are. For example, if you are an animated eight year old boy, your natural enemy is the know-it-all fat kid who always has an idea which never turns out well. If you are a whiny, seventeen year old, the options are seemingly endless; parents, curfews, educators, the man, etc. However, if you are a whiny, seventeen year old girl and your chosen ally is a vegetarian vampire, then the only logical enemy is a man-eating vampire. Similarly, for four cherubic, British children and their Christ-like lion, the enemy must be an Eve-like witch who has knowledge of all of the world’s Dark Magic. And, of course, every princess tale must have the evil dictator from the neighboring country, or the jilted relative of the former king. In order to make this man truly evil, he must always have a spinning globe, behind which he can laugh his evil laugh.
Next, the good guys and bad guys need a stage on which to conduct their epic struggle for power. If your story is a real-life-with-a-twist type story, this stage may be a real place such as Forks, Washington or South Park, Colorado. It could also be a fictional place that sounds as though it should be a real place like Genovia or Cost Luna. Then, there is the place that is completely made up, like Narnia, which is modeled after real places, but is disguised so you don’t realize that you are actually reading the Bible.
Finally, once you have established the good, the bad and the location, you can populate your imaginary world with all kinds of wild characters. These are the bystanders to the epic struggle. These are the people that you, as the good guy, are trying to protect. They make your world look realistic and multi-dimensional. They make the world the kind of place where readers want to go. This should be the fun part. Go crazy here. You can populate your world with giant werewolves, talking badgers, friendly fauns, flamboyant dressmakers or Barbara Streisand. This is the part where you call all your friends and frenemies and tell them they are going to be in your story. Then, when they read your story and recognize which character is supposed to be them, you can turn off your phone and pretend you never received their angry voicemail message.
If your follow all of these steps your will either have a hit novel or a plagiarized version of Twilight, South Park or The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. If the former is true, you should do everything in your power to publish your story. If you do, it will be on the bestsellers list within weeks, you will be rich and, before long, a hot, unknown actor will be playing your hero. However, if you have, in fact, recreated an existing story you can either make a few slights modifications and sell it as a screenplay to Lifetime or ABC Family; or you can cover it with a nondescript binding and sell it in the streets of New York City next to the guy who sells knock-off purses. Whatever you decide, you will be hopelessly rich, famous and date a Jonas Brother or Megan Fox before you know what’s happening. And, if that doesn’t happen, you have just learned how to use your imagination, so now it’s time to write your next story: What I Did and Who I Dated after My Novel Made the Bestsellers List.